IT'S TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok ok. I'll try and tone it down some. You'd think I'd been going on and on about this cd...sheesh. My hubby, the cheeky little monkey that he is decided to play the "dumb game" on me last night. I said " is it Tuesday yet?" So what does he say? "What's Tuesday?" Just as though I havent been overly hopped up all week for this. Then he goes to say... "Oh yeah it's Bones/ House night". *shakes head* He does this just to mess around with me. So I told him basically what I said in my blog....that I'd been listening to it all day and it'd be nice if it walked through the door in his hands Tuesday night. I got the "what you cant wait" look from him. Well, in this case no. I am usually really really good about waiting until Thursday or Friday to get my cds but nope, not this week. I've been reading that some of the stores have been selling out of the cd already. Im hoping since this seems to be Carrie country that maybe just maybe it'll still be on the racks when he goes to get it. I even went as far as to put all my cash in a pile (all $17 of it and I KNOW it doesnt cost that much cuz Wally World's got it listed at $9.72 or so) on TOP of his filthy weeds with a note attached "Is it Tuesday yet???? It's coming home today right??" I woke up to find my pile of money on my desk...with the note still attached to it. Now either it's his way of saying that he'll buy it or that he aint bringin it home. Might be the former because he's always saying that he wants me to have cash on hand in case I need something and he's not home. Well hell if I had enough on hand I woulda cabbed out this afternoon, bought it and cabbed back. Yeah I want it that bad.

I wrote a nice long letter to that "friend" that I mentioned. Pretty much it puts the ball in her court and if she wants to write back, fine....if not, oh well I tried. Seems like every year about this time some crap happens and feelings are hurt. Im thinking of taking a vacation from the 'net starting the end of September to the end of November from now on, maybe that'll help matters. I dont know what it is, am I more testy at this time of year or is everyone just more sensitive? I dunno. Part of me wants to say that I dont want/need the extra drama on my plate anyhow so just bugger off.....but then the other part of me wants to be there incase Im needed for support. Ah well.

Not much else is going on. I got 2 apps done yesterday and I really need to get the other two finished tonight. I dont feel like it though.


It's a nicer day today, we got into the 60's *whoot*. Im still in my slippers but the heater hasnt kicked in yet today (we turned it on last night as it dipped into the 40's over night). Im going to post a few pictures below that I took a couple weeks ago. Ive been meaning to get them posted.




Reminds me how the "lovebugs" in Louisiana would fly around butt to butt....doing just what their name says. I sure hope the butterflies aint the same because with the lovebugs the males would shrivel and die in the act and then fall off. I hope the butterfly was luckier.

Never saw one of these at rest before. There are several that fly around our house. Im less afraid of these than most biological flying objects. We've had several butterflies in the yard as well up until a couple days ago. Never could get close enough to get a good shot of them.

This is the yucca in our front yard. This year the plant sprouted 4 of the branches with the flowers on it. Until we moved here, I'd never seen a plant like this. The leaves are very sharp and when the flowers die off it's a bitch trying to get that branch cut down out of the middle (it looks plum-aweful unless you do).

BRRRRRRR!, PetSmart, and Bo of course....

We had a rainstorm go through this morning and it's been gray and dreary ..not a lick of sun. One of those days when you just want to stay curled under the comforter all day... and Brrrrrrrrr it's gotten cold out. I know my friends are all pretty much going to tell me to shut my damn mouth because invaribly (sp?) it's colder where they're at. We've got 50 degrees today and the wind's been whipping for the last day or so. Oh yeah, Im sure my friends have colder temps but please remember it was 80 degrees out not just 2-3 days ago and in the 90's ~just~ last week. The floor's cold enough I actually had to put slippers on today and I HATE having anything on my feet. This keeps up I may have to put some pants on too (to clarify things for the pervs out there I wear shorts around the house...get ya minds outta the gutters). Man I wish my tea would hurry the hell up and get brewed. I wonder if I have enough chocolate syrup to make hot cocoa with....

I went through my emails in my roadrunner account yesterday and sent a thank you letter to the gal from the homeoffices of PetSmart because she's been so damn helpful forwarding stuff to the store I was trying to get hired at. I guess this morning she sent out the info again to make sure someone at least got back to me on the application which was really nice of her. I got a call from the store manager and they dont have anything at this point as they'd just hired 2 and had 2 more out for drug testing. He was wondering what the problem was with the website and I told him and he said he'd have it looked at..thanks for letting them know. This particular store does not do overnight stockers (that's not what I was led to believe on the app online....) but that some of the stores do. He said that although he was fully staffed that you never know when someone was going to want a tranfer or quit. He also pointed out that who knows by next week they may need 2-3 seasonal helpers too. I told him it was ok to put my info on the back burner and give me a jingle if anything opened up. If I was still unemployed at that point maybe we could get something to work. Im not overly dissappointed with this one, just a little...definitely more than the other store for sure. I still have a few leads out and I have 4 more in my email inbox that I can apply to. They're ones that I had goaled out to apply to this week and I found that they had online apps I could fill out which is what I'll be doing after I finish my blog. Maybe this week? I know what everyone is going to say..."I hope you find something you'll be happy at"... to be honest Im not really sure Im going to be happy anywhere as it wasnt exactly my choice to go back into the work force. If it had been my choice, then things would be different. Right now, Im still very uneasy and worried about it. Im beginning to think that when we got me on insurance that I should have put myself in therapy in an effort to get ready for this possibility. I just know once I get there and get my work legs back under me I more than likely will be fine. It's just taking those first steps and doing for myself. I know...baby steps, one at a time. It still feels like a long road though.

I was in my MySpace today and a couple of my Bo-addicted friends had this link in their blogs. Looks like you can hear all of Bo's cd (complete songs, not samples, *WHOOOOOOT* and the whole cd....sweeeeeeeeeet) today. I give you one guess what I was listening to while reading my blogs. I figured while I was at it I'd listen to the Carrie Underwood one too. I mean she did surprise the crap outta me with her first cd. It's on my Amazon wish list so maybe I'll get lucky and it'll turn up for Christmas. ANYHOW, I give you one guess which one I'll be listening to the rest of the day though and where my money is headed....... If you like ZZTop, Lynard Skynyrd, The Eagles or any music like that...you'll LOVE Bo's cd. Ohhh and that reminds me...the Eagles new cd is out next week. Cant wait for that one either.

updates, the truck and a ponderance

Well the shoe-in I thought I had with Target turned out to not happen. I cant say it's upsetting me any to be honest. After the interview that day I was beginning to think the job wasnt going to be for me. I mean who sticks their overnight stockers in uniform when your company isnt a 24 hr store? It simply doesnt make sense! Now WalMart, I can see it because they are open 24 hours and the stockers have to handle customers too....but Target? *shakes head* I not only would have had to put out money for khakis (which is to be expected when you live in knit pants...when you MANAGE to pull ON pants that is)...but red shirts too? Im sorry but having to put out a hundred or two dollars on work clothes just doesnt cut it with me...ESPECIALLY when you know it's ~just~ for a seasonal position. I told hubby this as we were going to the car to drop me off home. In the days following the interview this feeling just got stronger that I wouldnt be happy there anyhow. Then on Wednesday I got the "thanks but no thanks" card from Target. At least they were nice enough to let me know one way or another...most places dont do that. I cant tell you how relieved I was about this though. I had been praying all that time that one of the other places would call first. I still havent heard from the others I had applied to but it's still early. Most places dont exactly have their seasonal people in place for another week or two anyhow. On the off chance that the first batch doesnt pan out, however, I have another 4-5 target stores Im going to drop resumes and cover letters to. With any luck something should pan out in a week or two. *crosses fingers* All I know is this is turning out harder than it used to be. Could be it's because Im a bit older (yeah I know Im not but when you're competing with 20 somethings for the same jobs...pushing 40 real hard just doesnt help matters any), or it could be because I have been out of work for as long as I have.

Called my mom today and she's doing very well. She sounded like she's in better spirits than I was at the same time of recovery for my gall bladder operation. Of course, she's in better shape and handles pain better than I do so her recovery may take less time. She's already getting around on her own, much to my daddy's dismay. I think he was looking forward to taking care of her for a while because she had to do alot for him when he was out for his shoulder and arm. Ah well.

Hubby went with his friend Bill yesterday back to work. The truck had broken down sometime last month as he was headed to work and it's been parked there all this time. They went to see if they could nurse it back here so it would at least be off the work's parking lot. Damn thing broke down 3 times before they got it halfway home and then wouldnt start at all afterwards. *sigh* Hubby ended up calling to have the bugger towed home. It's now making a very nice lawn ornament to my front lawn. They're not sure what's wrong with it but have 4 or 5 ideas of what it COULD be. Some are easy and relatively easy fixes....others, however, not so much. Looks like it's not going to be fixed until the top of the year or when tax time comes. This sucks because at 15 mpg it has the better gas mileage of the two vehicles.

Ok question... say you have an aqcaintence that you had a falling out with. This person hasnt talked to you in forever. In fact the last time you actually talked it wasnt pleasant at all. Then this person has tragedy in their family....so you do the right thing and send a sympathy card. You get no thank you (not that it was truly expected) nor any acknowledgement of it with the exception of a mention to a third party who made sure you knew that it was acknowledged (but it wasnt said directly to you). All of a sudden you start getting forwards from this person...not often but just enough so you know they are alive. No notes, no Im thinking of you, nothing but generic forwards that tell you to pass it to 5 friends or so. They dont talk to you otherwise...no call (which is fine I hate the phone anyhow), no notes, not even a brief chat in a messenger service. How do you deal with this person? Ok better yet, say you sent a very polite note simply stating it would be nice to hear FROM them now n then and not just forwards all the time and they wrote this really nasty note back at you? I really had thought I had handled this one correctly for a change...I guess not.

job hunting, interview, the weather and mom

I know it's been several days since I last wrote in here. It's been a little busy here with getting my resume brushed back up and getting a decent cover letter written. I hadnt had to do either in 4 years or so and had no clue as how to begin. Thankfully, hubby was doing one for himself and I was able to get a good idea as to how I wanted the finished product to look. The cover letter was another matter. I figured to give a bit of background on the other places that I worked for that didnt make it on the resume. That particular project took a little longer than expected because there was just sooo much information to put in. I ened up paring it down quite a bit and the bugger STILL was close to 2 full pages (then there was hubby who only had, like, 3 lines...*sigh*).

The week before last we went out for me to get applications. The first thing I did when I walked into a place was checked out what the employees were wearing. Sneakers? Check. Tops and bottoms...are they jeans, dockers or whatever? Most places I've noticed seem to prefer khakis and polo shirts on their workers. The reason for checking all this out is to find out how much money the place is going to run me on a startup cost. Shirts arent much of a problem because I can get them pretty readily at WalMart or Target and they'll fit nicely, but pants are another story for me. I just find it hard to find ones that fit comfortably. It's harder still when they insist on the fitted waistbands instead of the elastic waists that I prefer....especially if it's likely that I'll lose weight working...then having to invest in more pants. I ended up going home with 4 apps to fill out.... Hobby Lobby (ideal job, Sundays off guaranteed), Big Lots (good because all I'll need to worry about is jeans), Michaels (whoot a craft store and in jeans), and Office Depot. I've yet to fill out the latter because it means a complete retrofit of my wardrobe, even sneakers. They have their people in denim shirts (more costly than a polo for sure), black dress pants (which I have exactly 1 pair of and they arent even the type worn there) and BLACK sneakers. The only sneaks Ive found that are really comfy cost me $35 ON SALE. Needless to say, I aint about to fill that one out unless nothing else pans out. I filled out the other 3 though and this past Friday went out with hubby to drop them off with a packet containing a resume and cover letter each. I was greeted with a smile at Hobby Lobby but not so much at Big Lots. Hmmm am re-thinking that place now. While out in that direction I applied at the Albertson's kiosk and dropped off a packet. I got to talk to an assistant manager for a few minutes there. This was a plus in my eyes that she took time to talk to me right then. Im hoping they thought it was a plus that I old-schooled it with a resume and letter.

Then we headed in the other direction and I stopped off at PetSmart to drop off a packet (I was able to do their app on line...thank goodness). After, I went next door to the Target and filled out an app on their kiosk. Again I old-schooled it and was sent to the office to turn in my packet of papers. I walked out of there with an interview scheduled for today. Here I was going to go across the street and fill out the kiosk at WalMart as well but decided to not bother since I had an interview lined up and interest generated at Albertson's and PetSmart as well. We went shopping and then went home. Sometime over the last week I also filled out an app for Best Buy online. They have a store going up around the corner near Loews and Home Depot. This would be ideal because I could pretty much shoot for the position I really like doing...the playing field is wide open in that case. I love coming in on a new store...you actually get to work in the place and get familiar with it BEFORE you need to deal with customers.

Today's interview went well. I found a kindred spirit in the first person I spoke with in that he's divorced and under some unpleasant circumstances as well. We must have talked for a good 45-50 minutes at least. He told me to wait in the breakroom and he'd see if someone else could talk to me too. Look at that I walk in and have 2 interviews on the same day. The next person I talked to was the HR director. I was told what the uniform would be (uniform on night crew? *sigh* yep...even though there are no customers to deal with...we still have to wear the store colors...sheesh...not sure Im gonna like this) and that the pay for receiving was $8/hr to start and a $1/hr wage differential for the night crew. Not bad, pretty much what I was making when I left the one store (there I was at $9/hr+ comm). ..very good considering I havent worked in 4 years. The good thing about here is that the usual schedule has us off on Tues and Sat nights. That's right, I'd be able to stream my usual nights still. Unfortunately, I'd never see hubby except in the car... The HR is going to place a few calls and do a background check and call me by Friday.If I pass that and the drug test, I'll be working by next week. As good as the job sounds, Im really kinda hoping one of the other places calls instead. Im still not really sure Im ready to be back yet but I guess I kinda HAVE to be.

We have been having some really nice weather the last few days. Mostly 80 degree temps and so beautiful that the a/c can be turned off and the windows opened wide. Last night the weather changed and storms rolled in off and on all night. This morning we still had lots of rain and thunder. It was so grey out...the perfect type of day to stay under the covers and sleep the day away. Go figure I had to get up and get going because of an interview. It was 60 degrees out at noon so I wore my short-sleeved sweater for my interview...the nice red one my TxSis bought for me for Christmas. If it hadnt been for my black dress pants they could have slapped a name badge on me and put me right to work. It's still nice and cool out, but now it's too cool to open the windows for the night because we'll have the sniffles tomorrow if we do. Last thing I need now is a cold.

Mom called this evening and we talked for a bit. She's gone in for her lab work and got all the paperwork ready for her surgery this week. They want her in at 605am and surgery will be around 8am or so. From what she was saying, the drs expect to release her back home around 2pm or so. Dang, I wish mine had been that easy. Im so glad we caught this early on her though. They're anticipating a 4 week recovery time. I guess the surgeon's nurse had said that it'd be only 2 weeks but that short recovery is for sedentary jobs. Mom's job is a bit more active than that. She calls herself a "package beautification specialist"...just a nice way of saying a gift wrapper. Considering the types of packages she has to wrap (oftentimes several sets of dishes) and the fact the rolls of wrap are really heavy (they come on HUGE rolls that are bolted to the wall), the dr said at LEAST 4 weeks.

updates and other mish mosh

Yes, I too have days and weeks much like this. Although the sun is blazing brightly outside, I feel like there's a huge cloud hanging over my head. I've spent much of this week in huge mood swings, one minute feeling fine and the next wanting to lash out at anything and everyone. I even had a couple people (who dont know each other and live in different parts of this country) say I sounded grumpy and they just knew something wasnt right. No, it isnt simply from empty Saturday nights...infact it's nothing from online. For once all the problems are situated very firmly in the homebase and not online.

As we get closer and closer to December, and my husband's release date, Im getting wound tighter and tighter. I've been finding it extremely hard to sleep a whole night without interruption. I suspect it's because my mind is mulling things over constantly and as a result I toss and turn most the night. I know most of this shit is stuff I cant control, but being high strung....it doesnt matter that it's not in my control, I still get uptight over it. I've found out that although he's looking for another job, it's in our best financial interest that he stays for the severance package. With the way the mortage rates have gone up (50%!!!), the house that cost us a little more than $100 more than what we were paying at the apartment complex (just the mortgage payment, not the insurance on top of it) is now costing us much more than our budget can handle comfortably. I knew it was going to get to the point where I was going to have to pull a job eventually (assuming no children were forth coming) just on the basis that I really need to get out and socialize and the exercise was going to do me good. However, in an ideal world getting a job was going to be my idea and come along when I was damn ready for it (ready being the operative word here now I gotta dig and figure out why I havent been ready in 3 years because Im not a lazy person so that aint it). Well, this being reality and all, the choice has now been taken out of my hands. This isnt exactly what had me depressed the last few days (althought the fact the choice was made FOR me and not one I made on my own pretty much upsets me). The depressing thing is that I found out on Monday (last week...not this past one) that things were rougher than I was led to believe. The mortgage payments not only have gone up several times since we bought the house but two of those came just this year since we've been married. Not cool. The last conversation we'd had when he said they'd gone up had resulted him saying that it was up to me if I went back or not. Now, after 3 years he knows I have a slight hearing problem and no it aint "selective". If you turn your back or walk away from me while talking I do NOT hear the last bit of the conversation. The last part of what he said went completely unnoticed by me until just this week when we were discussing it again. The last statement had been "but it sure would help out if you did". So now Im not only upset with him for allowing it to go this long but Im pissed at myself for not noticing. What's a gal to think when some of the same stuff is coming in the house and we havent visibly started cutting luxuries? Instead of paying for the cd in the cart...allow me to take it out of the money in my purse. A couple times of that happening you know Im gonna be more chosey. Or better yet...tell me we cant afford much extra at all these 2 weeks. That'll make the point, trust me. I KNOW what "we cant afford" means. Been there, done that. The only thing I can think of is that knowing where I come from he's afraid Im going to toss him aside and leave. I mean I have done it before. The difference here is the man loves me and has no qualms of saying so infront of everyone.

Hubby went to the ENT last week. From sound of things, all is healing well. The dr had used those dissolvable stitches so there's nothing to remove. Infact, the ones she put in pretty much are gone already. He's got an appointment next week to check the healing. Thankfully, once the pills are gone for the rinse solution he wont have to do that anymore. This is really good because Im really tired of getting up in the mornings to make the solution. Oh I know he's a big boy and can do it himself but I also know he wont do it unless it's made for him . From what he's said the wash tastes nasty and he hates having to do it. A good deterrant so one doesnt get hooked on it I guess. No, you arent supposed to drink it but you squeeze it up the nostril and it runs out your mouth so it leaves a really yucky after taste. Kinda makes me not want the surgery myself and you can guarantee I'm fighting my sinuses tooth and nail to not have to take that option.

Last few days I've been only looking at options for us. Things are so damn expensive. For less than what we're paying on the mortgage we can get a 3 bedroom apartment in a bad section of town. Nope nope not that. Alot of the 2 bedrooms are as much or more than what we're paying now. Even on the low end it'll be tight. A savings over what we have now yes, but still tight. I told hubby if I go and get a job this week we will be staying in this house or at least this neighborhood because Im not going to get settled into a job and have to leave it right away. It's not fair to me and not fair to the perspective employer. Basically I told him if he wants to move to decide now. He suggested that we stay until after the holidays that way I can shoot for seasonal employment with the possibility of staying permanent if we end up staying in this house. He did see a house "down the road" (Ive found that down the road doesnt necessarily mean down the same street here in Texas) that was for rent for less than what we are paying now. It's supposedly in an area near some businesses (one being a Racetrac)....there better be more than convienence marts in the area I'll tell ya. There are a few places I refuse to work at..... gas stations and convienence marts are one because they get robbed regularly and food establishments. I am retail through and through. So I think this week we'll take a look around and see what's available. One thing we need to remember is we have tight funds so the option of setting up in a new place and fixing up this place to sell just isnt feasible. Hmm I think I just proved to myself we aint leaving here any too soon. Maybe we'd better just go job hunting instead. I have a list of some stores in the area close enough where it would be feasible. Just means I am going to need to put out cab money (these places are about a $10 cab ride one way away from me) a few days a week unless I get the HR to arrange my schedule to fall on my hubby's off days. Right now they are Thursday- Saturday and every other Wednesday. Those are days most retail needs the most workers anyhow. It just means if I get a job that streaming is going to be out of the question for a while (well I guess that decision was made for me too...) because I wont know what hours Im pulling on Saturdays and you KNOW as being low person on the totem pole my hours wont be regular (sounds like something else I know).

Come November, hubby will be going on nights again for the reminder of his time there. Yeah, Im upset but this was his decision and I have to agree to why he decided it. With money so tight, it's just beneficial for him to go on night shift because of the 15% differential (more money). Looks like this month is going to get where I wont see him much because he'll be covering for someone as well as pulling his own shift for a week (possibly two). It'll mean more money and I guess he's talking to the boss about going on "bankers hours" on the days he's covering (which in this case would be 8-5pm) so he isnt so whipped. If he does that it means no overtime daily though (his company does overtime as after 8 hours for the day you go on OT and not after 40 hours weekly like most places do it). It still means more money overall though.