Even though I went into quite a bit of detail, my friend Chicagolady actually came up with a couple questions that couldnt be answered by the entry in my Padded Room and a really good question for the main blog. I feel the answers are a tad lengthy for a comment back so Im just going to pop them in here in case someone else was wanting to know and just hadnt gotten around to asking.
From the main blog:
I know how you feel, I've had days where I just don't feel like posting, or doing anything at all. Sometimes a break helps, but then I've found it kind of hard to get back into the routine.Think about what it was about that time that you hoped might be therapeutic. Was it the day-to-day stuff you've been talking about, or were there other things that need to be dealt with? Maybe your focus needs to be more refined?
I find taking more than a few days' break just makes it easier to stay away. That's what happened to my alternate 360 page (which has become the Padded Room here). I took a few days off because the subject matter was giving me a migraine. When I tried to go back to it, the headache would come back so I'd stay off a few more days. Then it turned into a few weeks...then months. This could be just a sign I need to drop the whole damn mess but on the off chance I have someone reading that went through (or is going through) the same garbage, it helps to know they arent the only one that this has happened to. Occasionally when people find out this is my second marriage, people will ask about the first one and this way I can just steer them to this blog area. If they want the gory details, they can do what ya'll have been doing and read the entries.
The day to day type blog actually started out as the therapy blog but I figured it'd also be nice to have a day to day thingie in case someone lost track of how I am doing. Like my friend Gary comes in here and keeps up with the goings on. When he gives a jingle every other week or so, he's pretty much caught up and can fine tune his questions to my latest babble (and this way I dont have to struggle to remember what we talked about last time). Im not certain I CAN refine it anymore than I have. I've got 2 separate blog areas (albiet they are on the same account here which I find absolutely fantastic!) and for the most part can keep the past crap on one while the day to day stuff is here. There are days, however, when something is going on in my life that gives me a backflash so every now and then (Roads Not Taken entry is one of those) the dividing lines get rather blurred. I can only hope there's enough division to help keep things more organized.
I had thought it would be more therapeutic because it's the same stuff I'd be telling a therapist if I had had the mind to go. However, if I went to a therapist all that was said would be behind those walls and in those files. Granted, it'd have been more helpful for me to have that additional support but then there's also a possibility they would have put me on meds for depression (I was suicidal at one point, Im sure of it) as well and I hate drugs. Plus with the info locked away in such a manner it would never help anyone else. I guess that's why I really started it. Not only to help myself some, but to help others. I cant guarantee it actually is reaching many more than a few, but maybe someone out there is reading and thinking of a friend and is passing this link along. I hope all this was able to answer your question. My luck it was just a babbling mess as usual.
From the Padded Room:
Do you still find painting the plaster pieces as relaxing as you did then? Do you still listen to Yanni when painting?
Sometimes I do. Not all the time though. I found it relaxing before because I was following directions word for word...much like in counted cross-stitch. These days, I dont do kits so much as openstock pieces. Some, like the horse plaques Im doing, do come with instructions but my creations usually look so much nicer than if it's finished as pictured. I've been hoping some of these would sell on EBay but they havent. It could be the pictures arent so hot, could also be where Im listing them on that site as well. Who knows.
Some days it's very relaxing. Im finding out that I cant paint nearly as long as I used to (I used to paint for 2-3-4 hours a session). Nowadays, I have to take frequent breaks and pieces take longer now. My hands cant handle holding the bigger pieces as well as they used to (but but but ...those are my favorite pieces to do!!) and neither my hands nor my eyes handle the smaller pieces (like ornaments) quite so well anymore. The less detail on the smaller piece the better. My eyes like to cross at the most inopportune moment at times (so no, glasses wont help this...just give me a bigger headache because they're needed for distances not up close). My hands arent really as steady as they used to be and then there's my back. I really need to get a taller table...or a shorter chair.
No, I dont listen to Yanni while painting anymore. The freestyle painting I do doesnt require nearly the concentration so I can play anything I want (plus someone isnt telling me to shut up all the damn time so I can sing while I work if I wanna..he HATED alot of the music I usually like to play). I dont have my Yanni collection anymore anyhow. As it was all in cassette, and I had to run light, it got left behind ( I had 7-10 tapes of his too). All I took when I left were my cds and I didnt own any Yanni cds at the time. I have a few cds that I picked up over the last year or so and I have several other files on the computer that I ~could~ burn if I wanted to. I guess I havent because my kitchen is actually an all purpose / catch-all type room (I'll post some pix later on the home page). I have my stereo in there so I have tunes to listen to while doing the dishes (the apt we were in had an open plan and I used to just play music on the tv in the livingroom- cant do that here) or doing laundry. While doing that, I need upbeat tunes. Right now I have Hilary Duff's Dignity in as well as a cd by Pink, one by Gloria Estefan and a couple others I cant think of off the top of my head. This way I can sing and move around to some awesome tunes (ok ok...I dance around rather clumsily too...So You Think You Can Dance has no worries...I have no intention of auditioning!). When I paint, I seldom think to change out the tunes. Some cds are harder to paint to though. Heart's real rough because I tend to sing more than I paint or I hit the repeat button...repeatedly...because of a great song (Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Bon Jovi, No Doubt and Janet Jackson are equally tough...LOL). I guess I really stopped listening because I didnt need to get into that serenity zone as much as I did. Yanni can be so soothing and relaxing for the most part and I really needed that around that time.
I hope this sufficiently answered your questions Chicagolady ~grin~.