A story to make Alice laugh

As I was in reading my friend's blog the other day, one of the comments created a flashback in my mind that simply made me laugh. As such, I placed a second comment in my friend's blog in response to the one comment. I know for a fact after the initial shock of seeing those two comments my friend more than likely laughed at the vision. I promised in a third comment on that entry I was going to tell the story here. Since there's really not much else to tell, I figured today is as good as any.

Many years ago, in the late '90's I worked at a Christian school. The story Im thinking of took place in my first year at the school. That was the year I helped out in the front office. One of the dress codes was no earrings on guys. Unfortunately, there were a few guys that would forget to remove their earring before entering the school grounds. On one particular day (not the one that Im meaning to tell, but you need this background before I get to the other), one of our hispanic boys (who the boy was is another funny story in and of itself.....names can be so damn deceiving) came into the school with his stud still in. I usually caught most of the boys before most of the staff saw them and would pull on my ear as a reminder. The boys would then remember to remove said item and place it as a pin on their backsack. On this one day, I hadnt seen this boy come in. It had gotten so if he saw me he'd automatically check but since I was stooped down helping a little one, he never saw me and didnt even think to check. This was a day that Brother D was in the foyer checking dress code and his eagle eye caught the glint of the boy's earring. He pulled him aside and began to lecture him. When I came out of the office, he asked me to come over and explain to the boy how stupid it made him looked with an earring. I told Brother D that the boy looked fine, some guys looked good with earrings so long as they were tasteful studs or crosses (boy Bro D got mad at me for that). I turned to the boy and noticed what he was wearing (a Playboy bunny head) and told him 01) it's still against the rules and 02) the symbol is inappropriate period. I told him I'd better not see it on him again. The boy removed the earring and stuck it in a pocket (never wore it again when he knew I'd be around...something about me the kids always responded well to). Brother D never asked me my opinion on much after that though...LOL. Well unless he knew what my response would be and knew it would change the child's behavior.

Anyhow, the school where we worked didnt much look like a school or church from the outside. From the main road we looked very much like a book depository with a steeple added on as an afterthought. The siding was metal. You'd think in hurricane country they would have built it in brick like most of the houses down there but no it's this cheap steel or aluminum. In anycase that building always made me nervous in stormy weather. It also made communications inside next to impossible as the walkie talkies that were purchased for contacting key staff wouldnt work inside all that well and *when* they did they only had limited range (and no, the school had no intercom system at the time). Brother D or Sister L (his wife) would get loads of calls on a daily basis. Brother D was the headmaster (but not lead pastor) and his wife (Sister L) was the accountant/ administrator. Many times when someone called for Brother D, he'd be out of his office. He'd be off giving a tour of the grounds to prospective students or sitting in on the classes. Many many times he'd never say where he was headed. When he was on a tour, we knew because they'd have to go through us first, then to Brother D but when he chose to monitor a class....*poofies* he was gone. Sometimes he just went outside to think. Anyhow, when we knew he wasnt on a tour we'd have to go look for him. First stop was always the front doors to check for the truck. If it was there the hunt was on. The grounds werent overly large (a back play yard for the little ones and the football field on the side for the older students) but when it got to be 5,6,7, 10 times a day (like this one day) it got to be exasperating. If he wasnt on the ground floor we'd have to go upstairs and poke our heads into the classrooms (which was very distracting for the teachers who were trying to go over their lessons). Mind you, there were only 7 classrooms up there at the time BUT for the one classroom you had to cut through another teacher's class to access the door. It got so if we needed anyone from that room we'd wait until class change. In any case the people on the phone would get pissed at having to wait so long as we hunted the headmaster down. Anyhow he loved to sit in Mr.E's history class (yeah...THAT Mr E....I may not like the creep but I do have to admit that the man could teach history and make it interesting). For most of the day Mr. E's class was in that one particular room. As the class we had to go through was testing, Mr E's room wasnt exactly accessible (Brother D had always said, if the class is testing dont bother them not even to cut through) to be checked that day. Well the one call had been very important and not something Sister L could answer so she took a message. When Brother D came to the front office he threw a fit and fussed Sister L and me. Well Sister L fussed him right back (gotta love them cajun women) and he looked at me thinkin I wasnt going to say anything. I didnt even look up. I simply kept working and said, "Well if ya like, I recon we could deer tag ya and place one of them fancy light up maps on the wall so we could track ya. It'd make life so much easier in here." He just looked at me and I looked up at that moment and square to his face said "and if ya feel lopsided we can deer tag the other ear so ya head sits all nice n balanced." Mind you I pick up accents well when Im exposed to them daily and Sister L has a thick southern accent...so picture that not in my usual voice but in a thick Louisiana drawl. Sister L bust out laughing, the pastor (who was right beside me but out of Brother D's sight) began to laugh too at the vision and me...well I just kept working. I got a pat on the back from the pastor for giving it back as good as I was gettin it.

Anyhow...that's the mental image I was getting when a friend was telling about her story and then another friend commented to clip the item to her nose. All I could think of was Brother D with day-glo orange deer tags in his ears. As I said in my second comment, I didnt think the one friend was up for a second attachment. ~grinz~


ChicagoLady said...

ROTFLMAO! OMG, I was even reading your comeback OUTLOUD in a bad attempt at a southern drawl! I could practically picture you saying that. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.

ChicagoLady said...

Oh yeah...who's Mr. E?

LadyStyx said...

E, for Edwards. I usually call him idiotboy or any other number of nicknames...usually I just call him my ex.

LadyStyx said...

Oh yeah...you're welcome for the laugh. ~grinz evilly~

AliceKay said...

LMAO...thanks for the story.

(also love the pic of the cow with the ear tags)

LadyStyx said...

YEW Alice. I was tryin to find one with a deer but all I was finding was pictures of hunters with their kills. Not the pic I wanted. Then I remembered they do the same thing to cows too. Sure enough it was an easier pic to find. I shoulda went through each page and found one with bright orange tags though.


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