Whatisaw

Ok. Here's the Whatchasee one more time. Did you see anything in it? It was a bit more difficult because it's a darker shot....



How about if we turn it this way. Can you see anything yet? Awww come on....let that child out...I know they're in there!

How about if I play some music for you? .oO(damn, now I'm really datin myself...)



no? Maybe this song instead?



That's right! I saw Bert from Sesame Street.

Let's just be thankful I didn't see Lambchop up there because THAT would have prompted the Sherry Lewis theme... *gigglez*

awards and a tour of bloggyville

Warning: extremely long entry.You'll be here and in other blogs for awhile so save me for the last read. I don't mind, honestly. Just make sure you go potty, wash hands, grab a meal or snack and drink...yadda yadda yadda...you know the drill...before sitting down. Oh and grab some kleenx just in case.


We all know what a poor bloggy buddy I've been. I didn't get my thank yous out timely and this one deals with the awards I didn't post when I should have. As much as I'd like to blame it all on the addiction to that site that I have, I suspect many of these simply got jambed up behind the Journey entry. Most of my usual readers can tell you, if I get something on my mind and I don't blog it right away, well everything else gets tossed to the back burner until it's dealt with. Usually, once I get the problem out of the way...the rest of the entries all insist on being told LIKE NOW!! However, I had a dr appointment on Thursday and it's taken til today to actually feel close to 95%. That's another whole entry though. If you have yet to have these awards given to you, please feel free to help yourself.

Anyhow, these are all the beautiful awards that were either specifically sent my way, OR the general reader was instructed to please take. Many of my friends are like that as we don't like thinking that anyone got left out. The only two that I'm sure of where I got them are the first two, because I made sure to change the name slightly while in the files so I knew who. Not sure why I didn't with the other two. Anyhoo...the first two were swiped off of Deanna's Blog. They were so beautiful that I couldn't resist.



I ~think~ this next one came from Wendy, I'm not entirely sure. I seem to remember making a comment on her blog saying I already had it....


*goes to double check*


Yeah, here we go the rules to this one are on this entry that she wrote on September 2nd.


Now, this one....I have no clue who I swiped it from. I suspect it may have been iggy's blog although I'm not really 100% certain on that. If someone could look into that for me? Thanks.

N/M I found it.

Anyhow, if I recall, this one was supposed to provoke some actual thought and as such became a bit of a speed bump because if you've learned anything about me , it's that anything that takes thought pretty much places my brain in traction for weeks. Well. In honor of this award I'm going to put in some links of my more popular entries as well as a few of those entries of others that really touched me in some way. Personally, I think collectively ALL of you deserve this award and should be proud to wear it on your blog somewhere (oh crap...this means I gotta get these uploaded into the Slideshow stream now...).


The most popular of my entries by far seem to be when I'm in a very dark spot or when I fail at something. Why is that? I thought for sure everyone wanted happy bloggers? *laffin* Anyway, I had two tie for the position of "Most Popular Blog Entry" at a whopping 21 comments a piece (ok, so it aint whopping, but dammit...I got a very small following comparatively speaking and not everyone leaves a bloody comment like some of y'all's entries get!). The first one was written on February 10th, dealing with my then SCSis (now GaSis) who'd called me up and left me feeling very disturbed. The entry was titled In A Dark Dark Spot Right Now . This story seemed to have reached a bit more even footing as of the end of July. However, I'm in the dark....again.... I am hoping it's just that she has no phone service and no friggin common sense to ask the boss if she could make one 5 minute phone call to assure her friend of 30 years that she's ok. I surely HOPE it's nothing more serious than that. Needless to say, it's weighing heavily on me right now. I do have an idea, but it needs to wait until tomorrow.


The next one was written on August 11th in 2008 and was entitled Itshouldabeenakodakmoment. A bitch of a title to write, but one that expressed the frustration of not being properly armed, OR while being properly armed just not having enough juice in the damned camera to get that perfect "Kodak moment". This, too, garnered 21 comments. I think this one may have actually gotten that number because I asked a question at the end of the entry (which is something I don't generally do). Maybe I need to write when I'm pissed off, sad or frustrated more often?

Some of the runners up are:

From the Home page (please remember this blog section plays music automatically BUT the player's at the top so you can turn it off):

The Committed TShirt creation that was made for iggy. This May 12, 2008 entry got 14 comments.

The Super Bowl Sunday post that debutted the new bumper sticker for the upcoming election season. This entry from Feb 2008 had 11 comments.

From the "Padded Room" entries (the Like a Phoenix blog):

The Nov 13,2008 entry entitled Tour of Duty-TRU intermission where I go into a small side track of some of the troubles occurred in the one apartment I was living in. Surprisingly, they WEREN'T caused by the jerk I was married to at the time. That one had 9 comments on it. It only got that many because I'd neglected the blog for so long though.

Then there was the 2 parter I wrote in June of 2008 called Great Escape. Both part 1 and part 2 got 2 comments a piece. Not bad considering that it's a much smaller circulation than the 2 Cents blog.

The last 3 entries come from the Journey blog. It's another that I don't exactly update frequently. Mostly right now, it's a place to whine and put things that I deem much too adult at times for my usual writings. All 3 are ones I wrote in 2007.

Interesting Read dealt with information as to why certain test were being performed and why certain medicines were being considered. We've sense discovered that the one medicine does NOT play nicely with my body. This was writen August 16th and got 8 comments.

Two days prior I posted one entitled Thursday August 2nd where I dealt with the indignity of being a woman, seeing a new doctor and having a very long overdue pap. What some of the issues were that the dr was considering placing me on. All the "Let's try and get this baby started" good stuff ya know. All that stuff that had to be placed on the back burner because hubby had to have certain surgeries to fix him up. At the time, I had to weigh things as to importance. His, which were MEDICALLY necessary.... or mine, which were just because I wanted a baby. Obviously, his were much more important.(7 comments)


The last worth mentioning in this section is I Hate This Feeling which dealt with the fact my dr stuck me on Prometrium and how the drug affected my body. This got 7 comments.

Now. Here are some of my favorites of the ones I read.

The entire Insight Series written by Dorkys Ramos, where I think I saw this reflection type post first. I like these posts because they really make me think (and then the brain goes into traction and I forget to comment most times....just know that they're some of my favs of yours).

There are a few over at Yaya's Place (whose Fragment Friday entries are the bomb all and on their own) that really get to me. Why? Because Yaya and I are sorta in the same boat right now... or at least in two like boats rowing side by side. Each wanting desperately what some women (Octomom, Kate, et al) seem to get so friggin easily. We just wanna be mommies. Her entry on Aug 10 2008 called Why I'm A B^tch goes into the side effects of the medicine she's taking to help her get pregnant and the frustration (and I suspect a bit of depression) she gets every month when the medicine hasn't worked it's magic.

Then there's her entry on March 22nd of this year that actually made me cry. I had to step away from the computer for a good long while after reading How Do You Be Happy For Others where she answers a reader's email in detail on her blog. All those same feelings that I have...right there...and someone else was feeling them too.

Next we're going to visit iggy's blog entry called Trees Are Like People (June 3rd) was stunning and thought provoking even in its simplicity. I haven't seen a tree the same since. A real shame that no one thought to include this gem in their choices. Oh look...it was HIS blog I first saw the award on...awesome.

Oh look...THIS is where I got the award (*whew* I really would hate to think I swiped yet ANOTHER award!) so I actually EARNED this one too!! I got the award from over at Deanna's Blog in August. I am going to agree with iggy on his selection of He Had Curly Hair and a Crooked Smile and I Loved Him Very Much as one of the best entries. I'd say that a close second would go to Change Your Thinking entry. That one got me to thinking of an idea for an entry which I have yet to post but I think I'll stick in the drafts for the next appropriate moment as they seem to hit every year at least twice...

.....7th inning stretch.....

Put down the food for this one. This one is from Marmy's blog and the entry is called Laff Me Red Stripey Sock Off. Actually, most times it's inadvisable to be drinking or eating while reading her posts. It's much too messy and I'm sure the monitor and keyboard don't appreciate getting splattered. This is one of her shorter entries but gives you a good idea what she's all about.

Then there's always a trip to Razors and Vines blog. I suggest reading the entry entitled Ever. I love the quirky writing style. I just may need to adopt that style considering both sides of my personality like to fight for control of the keyboard.

do not

Do so.

And the last stop on this entry is going to be in Shan's blog. Her entry, An Apple For the Teacher? Nope, School Supplies which went into how little teachers get for supplies for their classrooms. Every word of what she had to say was true. Actually, things are much much worse for the private schools... or at least it was at the private Christian school I worked at in Louisiana. I was there for about 3-4 years and I can tell you the average there wasn't even the national average for teacher pay. They were alotted ~maybe~ a grand total of $50 per semester for stuff for the classrooms (visual aids, decor, standard supplies like chalk and erasers were supplied by the school if extra was on hand) and dickyboy's salary never topped $24,000 for the year.

She also wrote one called We Are Women...We Must Backstab that I think should be required reading for everyone. Thankfully, I don't believe I've seen any of my bloggy readers saying stuff to purposefully hurt another around here. Now sometimes, there's the errant question that gets misread, misinterpreted, whatev... but that happens because of the medium. If we could only HEAR what the heart and mind of the writer is writing, then there wouldn't be nearly the hurt feelings.

Well, that completes our 3 hour tour...

Holy shit it took me that long to write???

Yep, it did (thanks to the contant stream of emails that came in while I was writing and we all know I just can't let 'em sit there when I'm at the computer....).

thinkin of a friend, buckle up, shoppin, and somethin else

I'm trying to get myself back into the habit of writing every day or at least every other day. I'm gonna tell you, it's rough when you're not used to bloggin quite so often. However, I find that I'm finding enough mish mosh with the pictures I click from week. If that doesn't work, I'm sure there's plenty in all the different files to come up with ~something~ to post more than once a week.
This last week we were out to the allergist's office. According to any online directions sites (Mapquest, Google Maps, etc), it's supposed to be a 35 minute drive at best but we've found it usually takes 45-50 minutes due to the flippin traffic. We always arrive early though because hubby insists on leaving 2 hours early...just to be sure. Anyhow, while we were on our way to the allergist's, I saw the above sign and immediately thought of our dear friend Tori. Now if they could just create ones that say "Idiots Crossing" or "Idiots at Play", then I'd be all set. The only problem is that I suspect that such sign will need to be posted on every damn corner around here considering some of these neighbors.
When we pulled into the parking lot and headed inside the building, we came across the above bumper sticker. It was the funniest one of the 7-10 stickers on the car. Considering the number of OCHA and OSBAs around here, I think this is a very good warning to have! There's some really great alien type stickers on Zazzle's website. Several versions of the above sticker and many many others like this one (nf/d warning). Oh look, it says you can create your own. Anyone willing to bet that iggy will be on that site to make a professional version of this sticker? Maybe I better see if I still have a copy of that one and redo it for the next election. Whatcha think?

On our way home Friday, the truck decided to overheat. When hubby popped the hood, even this vehicularly stupid gal could see that there was plenty of fluid in the thingy where the coolant is supposed to go. *UGH* it means the thermometer ~finally~ gave out on us. So we let the truck cool as we were off shopping and then drove straight home. Mind you, it's less than 2 miles where we were to home. In that short time, the truck overheated again. *shakes head* Hubby decided to let it cool overnight and then bring it in to the repair shop. I don't wanna hear it, really. I DID tell him to take it right in and that way it could cool overnight and they'd be able to get to it right away. Did we do that? NO. *sigh* He woke up about 7am and took it in as soon as he knew they were open. Thankfully they are just around the corner so the truck didn't have time to even get luke-warm.

Around noon-ish, we decided to walk on over to the Buffet place for lunch. After lunch, he decided to walk over to the repair shop to check on the truck and told me he'd meet me in McKays afterwards. On my way over to McKay's I saw this awesome cloud formation.

While hubby was headed to check on the truck, I decided to pop into the Payless next door to see if there were any specials. My sneakers are looking rather beat and since I have to wear them every day to ride my bike, they don't exactly have a decent amount of time to air out. I was hoping for a nice cheap pair to wear on the alternate days. I ended up spending a bit over $20 for a nice comfy pair. They were originally $24.99 and they were on sale for $19.99 which is a decent deal. Seems the feet shrank by about half a size. The last pair I bought I needed a size 9 to get a pair that was wide enough for my feet. This pair is only an 8.5. I really hate my wide feet. Mom always called them Fred Flintstone feet because they were short, wide but they got me to where I needed to be. The suckers are only a 7.5 when you measure toe to heel, but wide enough to need the next full size up in a wide to get the width where it needs to be for comfort.
Well the truck wasn't done yet, unfortunately they had alot of appointments that afternoon and of course those take priority. *grumbles* Hubby and I met up in McKays and went home shortly after.

When 2-3pm showed up, with no call, hubby got antsy and went over to see if they were done. Why he didn't call, I don't know. Near's I can figure he just needed to get out of the house. Not that I blame him any. He called me before leaving to come home, it wasn't done yet but they were just bringing it in to have a look see. Oh dear. I saw it coming. He was told that they'd call before quittin time (5pm) to let him know if they had it done or not. By 430pm, hubby needed to get out again and decided that we'll both walk over and check. Anyone who's thinking that it wasn't done give yaselves a nice gold star. Now before anyone spouts off on the hubby (which it would be deserved for delaying) OR on the mechanics, you need to know that the truck is an '88. It's old and has served us very well. Plus the part needing repair is an ORIGINAL part. That said... it wasn't finished because a bolt was giving them a hassle. It's one of those things you need to take it easy removing because too much pressure will break the bolt and THEN you're really screwed (literally and KY aint provided). So they were gonna need to soak it down with something and let it set for a few hours to see if it can be removed easier. Yeah. Quitting time on a SATURDAY and the truck's not done. They're not open on Sundays and hubby needs to get to be able to get to work on Sunday. *sigh* Ya know what though. The head mechanic really surprised us. He handed over the keys to the company vehicle and is allowing us to use it until the truck gets fixed. With any luck it'll be done Monday afternoon or evening sometime because I really hate riding in a rolling billboard.



Below is a shot of the 2 new colors. I did, indeed, buy an Adam Lambert blue...which is the next color I plan on wearing. I really love the shade I have on right now though!

there will be a second post much later tonight....sometime between 11pm and midnight.

Just for fun, cops, decor and more

Got this one off from Jeannie's blog a few weeks back. I'd really meant to post it within a day or two of doing the quiz....

You Are Soft Serve

You are laid back, peaceful, and accepting. You are easy to please, and you enjoy letting others do things their way. People might be surprised to know that you're experimental and funky - at least in your own mind. You are open to wherever life takes you, even if it's very unconventional.

What Frozen Treat Are You?

I wanna thank those that came in to wish me a Happy Birthday (I see a couple new names..YAY! Feel free to visit again.), but someone announced it a wee bit early. I'm not a July baby. Actually, I should have been... however, even from birth the female gene for "fashionable late" was kicked into high gear. Yeah, that's right...I'm going into this particular birthday kicking and screamin and certainly don't wanna be 40 until I damned well HAVE to be.

I see a few of you picked up on the cops comment. Well a few nights ago, I popped into bed early and did a bit of reading. I went to a lights out about 30 minutes after midnight (1230am) and actually fell right to sleep. Very unusual for me but I've been attempting a decent lights out so I'm not sleeping until 11am-noon daily. Anyhow, I fell right to sleep. I was only asleep an hour when the doorbell rang. Yeah, at what many would deem an UnGodly hour. Certainly one does NOT go ringing people's doorbells at 130am unless there's an emergency. As I roused from sleep, I realized I was seeing lights being flashed into my windows! So I very carefully peeked out my blinds and I saw cops in the neighborhood and one standing at my door, looking up and aiming his flashlight at our bedroom windows. I told hubby that we had a cop at our door, so he went down with his wallet to see what was up. I can see the question marks now....why bring the wallet? Well a month or two ago, we had another cop show up at our door , looking for someone and had wanted proof that hubby was who he said he was. I guess the neighborhood must be filled with liars. So anyway, hubby was prepared this time. When he answered the door, the cop asked if everyone inside was ok. Ummm yeah, why? Well, there'd been a shooting in the area so they were checking on all the residents to make sure everyone was ok. They'd said "in the area" but I don't recall hubby ever saying that the cop specified where. I figure if it wasn't our cul du sac, it might have been the one across the street or the one across that empty lot the kids play in (the one where I get some of the "Old Timer" cone shots). It's also possible that it might have been in the strip mall behind us. All three areas are within seconds of our place if the person(s) in question are at a dead run. I actually suspect they hadn't caught the person and that's why they were REALLY looking. Couldn't have been too major, it never made the news here.

A couple days after that one, we had another cop (?) show up at our door while hubby was at work. I hadn't called them and hadn't been making any noise myself (now why can't they show up when I'm teaching the neighbor a lesson? Did ya know heavy metal music pumping at level25 aimed straight at the adjoining wall works wonders?) so I know he wasn't there for me. I question whether he was a cop or not because he wasn't in any uniform that I could tell, just plain street clothes... a polo shirt and dockers. However, he had his id and badge handy for when I opened the door. He asked me if a certain person was here, to which I told him that no...I didn't even know the person... this was the ____ residence and we'd been here nearly 2 years now. I also told him that we're constantly getting calls from the cops regarding that particular person and 3-4 others and each time we've told them that those people haven't lived here for X amount of time. The dude apologized for the inconvenience and as he walked away, said "I guess he gave me the wrong address".... which tells me that maybe he wasn't a cop, but a parole officer. Great.

Hey! Some of you may have noticed that I've taken to answering comments via email. I'm going to try and keep that a habit because I know not everyone has time to come back to previous entries and see if I said anything in response. If I haven't commented back or I've left the response in your blog, it's because I don't have an email addy for you. Please remember I am only leaving the email link up in my profile for another few days. This Sunday it comes right back down. If you're wanting to keep in touch, I'm encouraging you to use that link by Saturday. Oh....and those that HAVE been using the link, you'll notice that I've bounced your answers to my comments on your blogs over to another account before answering. That one's my main addy that I check religiously during the day. The ladystyx1969, well it's checked once a day...if even that.

I'm also on strike with a few of the blogs. If you haven't been visiting and leaving love here, ya aint been a very good bloggy buddy. No one likes one sided bloggy friendships ya know. I know, alot of you follow ALOT of blogs (or work or both) and may not have time, but I don't exactly update this as often as some of those out there. You know the ones I'm talking about, the multiple entries a day posters. I do, however, wanna say thank you to the few of you who do have massive amounts of blogs to follow and STILL manage to leave at least a lol or a one word comment. I won't embarrass anyone by pointing them out, but you know who y'all are. So...if you look around your blog and see I haven't visited in a good long time, yet I seem to be commenting on everyone else's blogs, that could be why. Please remember to leave some comment love where ever you visit. If you got nothing to say, just leave a hug...they're always appreciated! I don't mean on every post, but at least often enough so the author knows you're still there.

Oh! And thanks to those that commented on the new decor around here. I thought that banner in the header was appropriate. My desk, my 2 pennies...but the carpeting is from the dr's office. I thought it'd look cool as a backdrop because of that pattern.... well cooler than the nasty, boring beige we have in the townhouse.

I was reading over at Red Pen's today that the IE error that some of us have been suffering on certain blogs might just have a simple fix. It means dumping the Follower widget off the sidebar. Now all we need to do is decide how important that little bit of code really is. If it's really important for you to have that little widget up so your readers can see who all has been sucked into your blog, then I suggest making friends with FireFox as I haven't had a single problem with that widget it FF. However, if it's really not all that important and you don't like the fact you have to change browsers just to read a few entries... then dump the widget.


I'm going to copy and paste the comments so far from her site here (which amounts to just my comment and hers at this point):



LadyStyx said...
Dang, is that all it takes? Sheesh. You'd think they'd get it fixed.
July 29, 2009 9:52 AM


THE GRAMMARPHILE said...
You'd think that Blogger would have found a workaround for all blogs, but they didn't. Unfortunately, this is the best--and ONLY--workaround I know of. IE8 is really buggy, and I'm actually really curious as to how and why the folks at Microsoft have not yet fixed IE 8, since that seems to be the source of the problem.
July 29, 2009 11:22 AM


Here's to hoping that Windows does a better release the next time around. If not, I may just have to talk to my brother about Linux and Red Hat.

And a commercial break before the conclusion of our visit to Smalltown USA

Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Have fun and be truthful!

01 What is your occupation right now? For the last few years I have been a domestic goddess (ok ok so maybe I am in my mind but it sure sounds better than housewife)

02. What color are your socks right now? Socks? What are socks? Only thing on my feet right now are my awesome, very classy, leopard print slippers. (Hey, I spent more than a couple bucks on them, so they're classy if I SAY they are!)

03. What are you listening to right now? The Classic Rock Station on Comcast. Awesome tunes playing and is sounds like they're doing a two-fer day. Yay! Double shots of my favorite tunes!!!

04. What was the last thing that you ate? A Special K breakfast bar and an apple. Those bars aint just for breakfast ya know!


05. Can you drive a stick shift? *cringez* drive?

06. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mommy! (yeah, so I'm pushing 40 and still call her my mommy, bite me!)

07. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I unabashedly swiped it from Deanna's site.
I've known her for several years and she STILL tolerates me so hell yeah!

08. How old are you today? Older than yesterday and younger than tomorrow. Still looking young enough to be carded occasionally and old enough for it not to be necessary.

09. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? The one where the dudes wear tight pants...

10. What is your favorite drink? Tea. Hot or cold, luke warm...it don't matter.

11. NUMBER 11, CALLING NUMBER 11, HAS ANYONE SEEN NUMBER 11? Did ANYONE notice it was missing from this game? I've checked Deanna AND Lainie's pages and neither one had a number 11 on it. Yeah, I know, leave it to Styxie to notice this. Personally, I think the OCHAs number-napped it.

12. Favorite food? A plate of fettucini with grilled chicken strips over the top and a slice of raspberry cheesecake for a chaser.

13. What is the last movie you watched? HP Goblet of Fire. Ok ok...so HP is one of those multi-movie series I can watch over and over again and not get bored...bite me!

14. Favorite day of the year? Every day I wake up and my baby is beside me. (yeah, I so went the soppy route there...)

15. How do you vent anger? I scream, I hollar, I swear enough to make a trucker blush, I rip new assholes, make the target feel as big as a gnat and throw things. Yeah, most peeps don't wanna see that either... I try very hard not to do any of that anymore and resort to crying when I'm frustrated.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had 2 favs. Both were stuffed animals. One was Foofie. He was a mangled stuffed dog that had belonged to my daddy when he was a child. Damned thing was older than me. *sigh* Don't have him anymore... The other was Ralphie. Ralphie is a stuffed bear my mom made. She made one for me and one for a neighbor girl more than 30 years ago. I still have him. He sits on my dresser and is in GREAT shape for a 30+ yr old toy.

17. What is your favorite season? Winter. The joints may not be font of the cold but the sinuses sure do appreciate it.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Depends on if they are being used as a topping or ingredient or eaten by themselves.

19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Of course. Doesn't everyone? I mean if I take the time to email them, they sure as shit better email me back. It's only courteous ya know. It's kinda like visitors to your blog. If they take the time to visit you, you damned well better visit them to at least say thanks! However, since we're not emailling this...it don't matter.

20. Who is the most likely to respond? The person that sees this and thinks it's fun enough to do.

21. Who is least likely to respond? The same stick in the mud that didn't play along last time. :P~

22. Living arrangements? A spouse, a feline, a canine, countless dustbunnies and the voices in my head.

23. When was the last time you cried? Depends. If you mean out and out bawling, it's been a couple years I guess. If you just mean tears (of any sort) then it was a couple days ago when a friend left a wonderful comment on my page. Thank you. Those words meant alot to me.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? I'm afraid to look to be honest. Which closet does this refer to? I've got about 6 in this place...

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My GaSis. It's been about 30 years. Alotta history there.

26. What did you do last night? Wrote in my blog. Dropped 2 entries here in the main and one in the Padded Room. Been a long time since I wrote there. Really gotta get that bugger finished. Still a long way to go.

27. What are you most afraid of? Being left utterly alone due to circumstances beyond my control.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? neither... a nice thick burger with swiss and LOADED with mushrooms!

29. Favorite dog breed? puh-leeeeeeeeeez, I'm a catperson! Next question!

30. Favorite day of the week? see #14

31. How many states have you lived in? 5...if you count that I actually "lived" in my family's houses for part of 2003 (2 weeks each at parents, brother's, and "Sis's" and one week at gramma's) then it's 9. I've actually had state ids in 6 states.

32. Diamonds or pearls? neither. Sapphires although rubies are a great substitute.

33. What are your favorite flowers? I love roses (red, white, peach or multi-colored) and lilies. But if they are gonna grace my house, carnations...simply because they don't die off as fast. Yeah, I know, the strong scented ones like to irritate the allergies...but they're still pretty to look at.

My life, according to

So many great artists to pick but I feel I would be a traitor if I chose anyone other than the group Styx. Wendy and Tori have already done this one. The rules to this game are:

01) Answer the questions as well as you can, but using only song names from one artist.

02) Try not to repeat a song title

03) Pick your own artist, leave mine alone. LOL (ok...so I paraphrased it, I'm following my motto!)

04) Tag a bunch of friends. Well we know I'm gonna be a rebel and not do this, plus I'm already playing along so no tag-backs. Neener neener neener!

My Life According to Styx:

1. Are you a male or female? Lady

2. Describe yourself: Fallen Angel

3. How do you feel? I'm O.K.

4. Describe where you currently live: Castle Walls

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Rockin the Paradise

6. Your favorite form of transportation: Boat on the River

7. Your best friend is: Blue Collar Man

8 . Your favorite color is: Suite Madam Blue

9. What's the weather like? Snowblind (actually I can use Summer in the City as they did a cover of it on the Big Bang Theory album and it DOES make more sense)

10. Favorite time of day: Love in the Midnight

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? Grand Illusion

12. What is life to you? Double Life

13. Your relationships: The Best of Times

14. Your fear: Nothing Ever Goes as Planned

15. What is the best advice you have to give? Light Up (and Be Happy!)

16. If you could change your name, you would change it to: Lorelei

17. Thought for the day: Haven't We Been Here Before?

18. How I would like to die: The Grand Finale

19. My soul's present condition: Not Dead Yet

20. My motto: Do Things My Way


Ya wanna play, feel free. If not, well then

Responses to Saturday's comments

As I was typing responses to the comments from yesterday (I often answer back... does anyone actually go back to see if I replied?), I realized that my coment was getting mega-long so I figured I'd put it in its own entry.

*laffin* *HUGZ*iggy, ya silly silly man.Yes, preparing panties for flinging on Tuesday and adding the transparent bullseye to the tv would really distract me from everything.... even some things I need not be distracted from.

With that situation...hmm... regret, maybe for going through with something I somehow knew in my gut wasnt going to end well. Self-blame for the same as well as the "I wasn't good enough to make things work" really are the hardest to defeat. I ~really~ need to quit comparing my life to my mom's. *UGH* The unfortunate fact is that I've used my parents' marriage as a guide to measure up to. They made theirs work, even with as cranky as each can get...why couldn't I? I know, I know, different situations. I'd always hoped for a marriage like theirs, NOT my uncle's (he's been married 5 times!).

The "What if" doesnt factor in because what if I stayed, it woulda meant worse violence and possibly death. I suspect he woulda ended up in jail one way or another anyhow.

I'm not sure how much stronger it's made me to be honest. At least I havent seen anything that's changed much. Oh, I am more likely to state my opinions (and firmly)...yeah... but in group situations (at least at first) I still find myself reverting to old ways. The question I have for myself is, have I always been like this OR is it simply due to habits created over that decade? Until I can answer THAT, certain things simply wont be able to be fixed and some of those doubts and regrets will remain. Heh. Some would say that the simple fact I acknowledge that means Im on my way to recovery....

Aww thanks Jeannie!*HUGZ* *stifles a virtual sneeze*

I know, wifey, I know. Glad to know I aint the only one.*HUGZ*

*nods @ Yaya*. There's alotta good ones in there. It took a few minutes of hitting the re-create to get some of the words to line up just right. *HUGZ*

*HUGZ* thanks Deanna (ooh that STILL feels weird typing). I know I did. I just wish I knew something nicer was coming along back then.

*HUGZ* Karla. I know you will. Thank goodness some of us dont update more than once or twice a week, eh?

Thanks Melissa. I'd been seeing quite a few bloggers lately that have been doing fund raisers or asking for prayers for family. I wish I'd thought of this before. Often times all anyone can do to help is pray and leave some kind words. All I ask is that my readers go and visit these blogs. If you can help, fantastic! If not, a few kind words or suggestions to help alleviate the situation are always welcome. *HUGZ*

*HUGZ* Pam. There's alot to learn about me. It all started as a way for therapy and to keep people updated. When I left my first husband, I got alot of "I didnt realize that was happening" from my family and friends. I vowed to never have that happen again. So I started 2 blogs. One was to deal with the fractured mind and help me deal with the feelings and the memories of that hateful creature I'd been married to. I figured it would help to get it all written out. The other was to keep the family and friends updated with the NOW life. That way no one could never say "I didn't know".

responses to comments

I figured I'd better put these in here as Im not sure how many actually go back to see if I've commented back or not. Besides my response is pretty much long enough to warrant its own entry at this point...


Thanks Chicago, Iggy, Punkn, Karla and Alice. I knew of all of my readers, you 5 would understand the most. Simply because you've seen me go through this before and know how long I've been trying (and not just with this husband...).
Tori: Me too. If I could only get him to go get his first. I don't think he's done much more than pick up the supplies needed (paperwork and specimen containers). Now I think of it, I dont see those anywhere and he aint mentioned going and doing the test. *sigh* I'd better out and out ask him.

Melissa: Thanks! Glad they're making someone happy. They make me miserable to the most part because they're EVERYWHERE around here and they aggravate my existing allergies. Snapped that shot myself a few weeks back.

Marmie: You'd think that but the chocolates (thank you again!) came after the unofficial weigh in and Im terrified of getting on the scales now because I did as you suggested (naughty naughty) and stuffed myself daft with most of the contents of the box. I dont dare try to pull those trousers on at this point, although I sure hope they still fit.
Wendy: The longer I follow your blog, the more I realize that. I don't know how you manage it with the ocd (or is it CDO? ~smilez~), I know I wouldn't be able to.

Thanks Bee and Rose & Janis. I've got a wonderful support system here. There are people I've known for several years and some not so long...others that are prayer warriors and some that just light candles and send good thoughts. I know Im loved here.

babyrocasmama: The only thing they've tried so far is Glucophage to attempt to get the body to regulate. Im not sure when you joined here so if I repeat myself forgive me. Between the dr and myself (mostly me bitching about how the drug made me feel) we decided to pull me off the medicine because my body didnt handle it well. Both ob/gyns I've been to (the one in Texas before we moved and this one here) have pretty much agreed that all testing must be done first, then the meds because there's no sense in putting me on a drug if my body isnt going to cooperate, ya know. Worse yet, no sense putting me on a drug if the husband's body wont cooperate. If his swimmers are fine AND the nasty painful test they want to do on me come back fine, then I'll be put on drugs to facilitate matters.

Catchin up...part 1: Dealing with Blockage

So yeah, I've been having a bit of a blockage issue here. Oh no, not THAT kinda blockage. Ew. No, I mean the kinda blockage that comes from something in your life happening and bringing you to a low point which brings on a funk that is so damn hard to fight. It makes it difficult to do the most basic of things, even just jotting a few notes down in a blog entry. Those that have known me for a few years know that when I get this way, it takes a while for me to work out of the funk. They've also probably noticed that it takes longer each time to "get back to normal". These same friends could probably tell you what things are liable to trigger bouts of depression or make them worse if I'm already there.

Takin' it back a month:

Everyone who's been reading my blog know that I've been working at losing weight. I've done rather well. My last unofficial weigh-in was about 2 weeks ago and I'm down to 260, a good 38 pounds lighter than when I started. YAY! Every week up until March 20th, I'd take those smaller jeans that I'd saved from that box of clothes that had been given to me... hold them up and say "just 5 more pounds and I'm sure they'll fit!" On Friday, March 20th, I put on my knit pants and realized they were much too baggy to be wearing out in public without looking like a pathetic slob. I picked up a pair of the black jeans I'd been waiting to get small enough to wear and decided to see how close to fitting in them I was. Imagine my surprise when they pulled right over my butt comfortably AND buttoned easily! Not only was I in a pair of jeans 2 sizes smaller but I also had this going on. I had alot of hope and joy in my life.

Saturday the 21st, I took a test to see if I could confirm if that was really happening. I mean at this point it was 4 weeks late and all. Imagine the disappointment when I found out that it wasn't the answer I was hoping for. Although there's still hope the test was wrong, right? Oh no. Not for me. Sunday came along with its own confirmation that it wasn't to be. Top that, a story hit the news that night (or was it Monday) that brought me to tears. The friends I've known for several years can all pretty much tell you that a story of this type is a very big trigger for a case of depression. It's a trigger because I've tried so hard for so long and gotten nowhere. Yet some others who seemingly have no problem, throw their blessings away like so much garbage. It really hits me deep in the core and makes me cry every single time about the total unfairness of it all.

I can't tell you how timely one of my friend's entries was. She posted, right about the same time this all was happening, answering a question she'd received via an email about how she managed to stay so happy in her situation when realistically she shouldn't be. Her entry brought tears to my eyes as she expressed how she truly felt and how tiring it can be trying to be happy for people when you cannot seem to manage to have a child on her own. For me, being around pregnant people can be a real problem and even as late as afterwards and upwards into the child's toddler years. It just makes me very sad (imagine how hard to find out each time my brother and his wife find out they're pregnant, been through this twice already). Knowing that we don't have the means (unless the insurance covers it) to do everything that entails invitro or even the other option of adoption, this is pretty much it for us. If it's not natural, it simply will not be happening. So now we're into the testing phases. He'll need to go first because it's less invasive and I'm sure a whole lot less painful. Then will be me if his tests come back fine. If his come back wonky, I won't bother testing as it won't matter at that point. The hardest part is not knowing if we can or cannot. I'm hoping once the tests all come back, I might get better with this issue... even if the tests come back with answers we didn't want to hear. I may just see about a therapist at that point if the answers don't seem to quell my thoughts on it. I mean realistically, if the tests say we can't, then it's not my fault and I shouldn't be blaming myself. Then again, I know me too. In anycase, thanks for posting that sweetie. Sharing what you did really helped to know that I'm not alone with those feelings.

Well, anyhow, shortly after that entry hit... another one got posted that was really kind of cryptic. Since I was already feeling low, this one hit hard because I automatically assumed it was done because of the comment I'd left on the first one's blog. I know now that it was simply just bad timing and that it had nothing to do about my comment. However, when it happened I felt kicked in the gut. I got the same feelings that I'd get with my now ex as he had a way of making me feel so very small. I'm so glad I held off and didn't post what I was going to around then. The damage would have been excessive, I'm sure. In the end, I was mad at myself for allowing those thoughts to come to my mind and happier for the person in question. I hope you got everything sorted, dear. And remember what I told you, don't ever let anyone make you feel that small.

Once I get into a funk with a blockage like this, it becomes increasingly more difficult to write the longer I let it fester. I don't write not because I have nothing to say, but more along the lines of I don't know how to word it so I'm fully expressing myself without being offensive to anyone else (been there before, didnt like it one bit). Plus, when I look at my situation from an outsider's viewpoint...my problems are so damn small compared to what others are going through, which keeps me from dealing with my feelings and just allows them to bottleneck up. Once I get myself over it, the flood-gates open and I'm able to write again which is good because all the other entries that need writing are just piling up behind it. I think I'm close enough to being over it now so you know what that means...several entries are on the way. I've got a couple of awards that need posting and a third one I've created to give out. I've got pictures over the last few weeks to share, new items that I've bought and a couple of gifts that showed up in my mailbox in time to start putting a smile back on my face.

Gosh, I hope this all makes sense.....

Holy cow!

So I skipped about half of my reads yesterday (which is better than the 4 DAYS of comic reads I hadnt gotten around to), ~maybe~ about 90 minutes worth of reading total for the blogs; and this is what I found when I pulled up my Google reader a few moments ago.

Yeah I know a good third of it is more than likely because of the 3 blogs I follow during American Idol season, but damn! In case you cant read that one number it says "All items (70)" meaning I have 70 (yes, seventy) new entries since I left Blogger last night (it aint helping matters that Blogger's not posting the entries to the readers until hours AFTER they were posted!!)! *sigh* I'll catch up, honestly...but if you were ever wondering why some of your entries get comments and others dont (especially those multi-entry peeps)....well now ya know.

There is another entry in the works, but I have a few more things to add. Maybe I should just break things down into bite-sized bits and post what I have now.....

The final entry in this series brought to you by Iggy

Intense Guy said...
I enjoyed your 25 things! We share a number of them in common.

Hmm... 2 cents for 2 questions? but a dollar for an answer and 10 dollars for the right answer? :)

1) If you could be any of the superheros (superman, batman and so on) which would you pick?

It took several days of research for this question. I got myself to a site that listed the superheroes and villains as well as all of their powers and back stories. After a couple hours my eyes started to cross, so I decided to narrow my search down to just their powers and left the back stories alone for the initial weeding. I got it narrowed down to 10 possibilities of whom I’d really like to be. I suspect there would have been more, but since I’m female I decided to keep the hero the same in gender. I did some more weeding today and successfully got my choices down to 6 (actually, it’s more like 5 because of the circumstances on the one involved). Having narrowed it down this far, I decided if I started writing the entry that maybe I’d be able to choose. However, I’m re-reading the question and although I suspect the spirit of the question is to pick ONE hero, BUT the question does not SPECIFY to choose only ONE. That means that I can put my own spin on it and write about all 6 if I choose! *neener neener neener!!*

So, in no real particular order are:

My first choice is Violet Parr, from The Incredibles. What’s not to like about this little sweetie? She can turn herself partially or wholly invisible at will, generate force shields and she’s cute as a button to boot. I suspect she’s much like a young Sue Storm (the Invisible Woman) in training. Being that she’s a young hero, I suspect that eventually her powers will develop further if they decide to “grow her up”. She takes this spot away from her mom (Helen Parr, Elastigirl) simply because she can do more power-wise (although I have to admit, being Elastigirl might make sex A LOT more interesting!). The only other one in this grouping that I’d even consider is Jack-Jack (because he’s got a hell of a lot of powers), but since I’m trying to stay within my gender he loses out too. http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Violet

The next pick is one I didn’t know about until I did some research (although I suspect if I mentioned the name, my geeky hubby would know the name immediately). Her name is Namorita Prentiss. This hero has superhuman strength, speed, durability, and reflexes and she lives in the water! Anyone who really knows me knows that once you get me in a pool, it’s very very difficult to get me back out of it again. I just love the weightless feeling, it’s the only time I truly feel graceful. Okay, so the corrosive acid and toxins that get secreted from her hands is a bit of a turn off… especially if it’s unpredictable and not easily controlled, but you have to admit having camouflaged skin that changes colors like my eyes do would be absolutely awesome. Well, that and the fact her aging is much slower than normal (a 50 year old superhero that looks only 20 something??? Sign me up!). http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Namorita

Tessa, aka Sage, is another one that I hadn’t heard of before that I found to be really awesome. To have spot on perfect total recall on any information and have a mind with unlimited storage is an absolute dream and a half. Think of what you could do with information like that. Not only do you have access to historical events and events in the present, but you can also piece together bits of info that you have on hand to predict the possibilities of future events. As a fanatic of American Idol, it would be fantastic to predict well in advance who the winner will be (think of the money I could win on the betting sites with info like THAT!!). With a brain like a computer, you can partition off sections of the mind and multi-task like nobody’s business. Who WOULDN’T want a power like that? http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Sage

Ororo Munroe, better known as the X-Man Storm, would be a great one to be. I suspect if I had her powers to control the weather, I’d be in great demand among my friends. Unfortunately, her power is rather limited to the local area so I’d need to do A LOT of travelling. Hey wait! That “feeds my gypsy nature” doesn’t it Karla?? *laffz* Gypsy needs fed, helping out friends who want nice weather during the icy blasts of December and I look HOT too? Oh hell yeah!
http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Storm

The last, but not the least, pick is yet another X-Man. She is the one I most identified with for reasons I have yet to discover. Maybe it’s the duality that existed there for awhile. Jean Grey could read minds, project thoughts/illusions into other’s minds, and “discharge mind-numbing mental bolts”. She not only could do this, but her powers of telekinesis allowed her to levitate as well. These abilities were amplified to incredible levels during her association with the Phoenix Force (who had saved her from radiation poisoning from a solar storm by placing her in a coma and setting her in a cocoon at the bottom of Jamaica Bay, then assuming Jean’s form for a time). For months the Phoenix believed herself to actually BE Jean Grey. After dealings with an unsavory character that messed with her mentally, the Phoenix went mad and became the Dark Phoenix. There’s more on the link below if you care to read. There seems to be slightly conflicting theories on whether the Phoenix was a clone of Jean or Jean herself. In both cases, the character goes insane and ultimately dies (see second Phoenix link).
http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Jean.Grey
http://www.superherodb.com/profile.php?hero=Phoenix
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_(comics)

Trivial notes:

01) The Dark Phoenix is the character that I was thinking of when I was using it as a chat nick there for a while. Infact, that particular Phoenix pic was going to get altered to be a stream banner at one point. Hey, what can I say, I know awesome work when I see it.

02)The Phoenix (the mythological creature) is what inspired the “Padded Room” title.

2) What one name would be your most favorite name for a cat?

*Sings*:
The naming of cats is a difficult matter

It isn't just one of your holiday games

You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter

When I tell you a cat must have three different names

Who really, truly names a cat? Cats really name themselves (as I suspect dogs do too, but Im not entirely certain on that matter). A name on a cat is just a word that expresses the owner’s perception of the cat’s personality. I don’t have a specific favorite name for any of the “children” (or “grandchildren” for that matter) I’ve had. All but three of the names have been media based… originating from the comics, movies, TV, musicals or even a twist on names from PBS specials. Every single one of them has been special to me, some more than others. There is no way I could narrow this one down to just one favorite name. However, if you want, I can do a whole entry on all the cats I’ve shared my life with. Actually, with the number of cats I've had, I suspect I could make it into a series of entries.....could take WEEKS to get through them all.....

Ok y'all...down below in the comments, every answer that first question iggy had for me. Name one or several and share why you'd pick them:

If you could be any of the superheroes (superman, batman and so on) which would you pick?

Little blurbit brought to you by Punkn

Punkn said...
1. If you could choose one job, what would it be?

I’d want to be a Domestic Goddess (oh wait, I’m this already!!) and SAHM. I’ve wanted the latter for a good long time now (like nearly a decade). I'd like any job that allows me to let the creative moose out for a good run every day. I was told at one point that I really needed to be doing the displays in stores....ya know, the big window ones. Yeah, that'd be too cool.

2. Do you like other reality TV shows or just American Idol?

Not many. When RockStar was on I loved watching that. It was like American Idol with a twist or two. It's too bad they didn’t continue with that. I also now and then get into Hell’s Kitchen and America's Next Top Model (the latter more than the former as I can handle only so much of him yelling and getting beeped out). I love to see if I can guess who's gonna get the boot. Unfortunately, ANTM is on Wednesdays opposite Idol so I end up having to catch that one via YouTube. With Hell's Kitchen, I've discovered that's one hubby will actually sit and watch with me though....and he's happy to discuss it afterwards. Now and then I’ll catch Dancing with the Stars, but it doesn’t capture me quite like the other 3 shows do.

This entry by Hula

Hula's Secret Blog said...
Good job doing stuff for YOU this past week! :)

And good job going down a WHOLE SIZE! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Any advice on that one??

I printed that whole comment because if I answered just the question (although I don’t suspect it was an "official" question for what I’m doing on the interview), it wouldn’t make sense and since I don’t think many come back to see if I answered them, I’m going to answer it here.

What I commented back: Thanks Hula! Eating modifications (don’t dare call it a diet or else it won’t work) and 30 minutes on the exercise bike everyday (when I get to where I need to be I can cut down to 3-4 times a week for maintenance). Keep the foods high in fiber, low fat. NO SODA (not that it mattered as I don’t drink much anyhow because it upsets my belly when I over indulge) and cut down on the treats. One treat a week under 100 cals. I can eat all I want if it's a veggie (watch the corn and taters as they have tons of starch). Gosh I can go all day on this though...LOL

Expanding upon this: The dr said I can eat all I care to so long as a great deal of it is veggies. I’m allowed 6 oz meat total for the day. I have to try and have no more than 3 grams of fat in my foods (this is impossible for me so I keep the serving size to single digits for fat grams...no peanut butter as 2 tablespoons is 16 grams!!!) and shoot for over 5 grams of fiber (get the double fiber bread...it's 5 grams a SLICE so a sandwich will give you 10 grams of fiber on the bread alone!). She wants me to get at least 25 grams of fiber daily. This is really easy to do once you add in the apple I have every day (3 grams), the banana (3 grams), my sandwich (10 grams), 2 cups of soup (8+grams on those healthy soups), a Special K breakfast bar (5grams) AND for sweeteners in tea or coffee....use Splenda with fiber (1 gram per envelope). Don’t skimp on the dairy...just keep it low fat or skim. Spritzer dressings are your friend as is Parkay spritz butter. So many things you can change. I get 7+ grams of fiber a day just with one of my smoothies.

Smoothie recipe:
2/3 cup Fat free yogurt...Stick with plain or vanilla...or you can get a flavor to compliment the fruit you use (Light and Fit has only 80 calories for 6 oz)

1/2 cup skim milk

1 banana (gotta have the potassium...medium banana is 3 grams fiber, large bananas have 4-5 grams)

1.5 cups of additional fruit (I use the frozen fruits for a thicker smoothie....if you use frozen fruit you won’t need to add ice like some recipes call for) (many of the fruits are about 3.5-4 grams a fiber a serving)

2 pkts Splenda with fiber (if needed....frozen peaches you'll need it but if you use mangos, they're sweet enough all on their own)

Blend in a heavy duty blender or smoothie maker (or a food processor...but the lid doesn’t seal nicely and it can get messy with the liquid) until smooth. This recipe makes about 32-40 ounces. Don’t feel guilty! You would have eaten all that food anyhow. Oh and if it's thick enough I suspect it can be frozen for a nummy dessert!

Since October, I’ve lost a bit over 30 pounds. I’m down 2 sizes in panties (although I still wear the same size pants because a gal’s gotta be able to sit in them!), about 1-1.5 bra sizes on the band (a full size in the cup!) and about 1.5 sizes down in the shirts (the 3x used to be a bit big but comfy but now in some cuts I wear as small as a 1x). I’ve hit a bit of a plateau right now but I suspect it’s because I fell off the modifications around the beginning of February due to illness and am fighting myself to get back on them.

Today's entry brought to you by the Grand Pooba

Grand Pooba said...
Well now you've got me curious about your marriages! For how long were each of them and why did they end in divorce?(If that's too personal it's okay, I'm just curious!)

First, I’m going to copy and paste my comment back to you from that entry in here as I’m not certain you'd come back to see it or not.

No, Pooba, it's not too personal. If you can’t wait until Saturday...you can get started by going to this link (it's the first of that section of the blog) and start reading:

http://ladystyxmemories.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-story.html


Good golly gal, you opened a stinky can of worms with this one. It's a LONG story and can no way be boiled down to just one entry. In the above link, I've been writing the story and I'm *ONLY* 45 entries in and not EVEN close enough to the end yet. I really need to finish it, but I get easily sidetracked away from it (that and writing in it gives me a migraine...). It may explain why I've been having such a problem with my SCSis's situation....because some of it is oh so similar to what I’d dealt with. The main reason I'd started the blog is with the hope that someone else would be helped with my words.


I'm on my second marriage and I’m pretty well certain I got it right this time. I mean, the man treats me like a queen no matter HOW I am emotionally, so I've got it really good and I damn well know it (yes, I admit I’m spoiled rotten). The first marriage began on 16 May 1992, unofficially ended (read that I ran for my sanity and life) on April 14, 2003 and Officially (the judge stamped his approval that yes, indeed, I may be divorced) on January 28, 2005. Fortunately and unfortunately no kids were involved...not from the lack of trying on my side. Anyhow, the first marriage was long and filled with frustration, verbal-emotional and psychological abuse and I simply friggin had ENOUGH! The fights we were having (which were so regular I could set a clock to them) had gotten that close to becoming physically violent. I always told him that if he EVER raised a hand against me in anger I was sooooo GONE. Guess what, he did just that and I did as I promised. I spent 2-3 months hopping Greyhounds, visiting family and generally trying to get back in my right mind. I still have days...When I left...I left my 3 fur babies behind (I didn't claim the other 9 in the house as mine, they were HIS) because I couldn’t take them with me. The hardest part was when I turned around and saw one (my girl!! *sobz*) sitting in the window watching me walk away. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I couldn’t go back if I wanted to because I tossed my keys on the floor of the living room and locked the door behind me. That's right, I made damn certain I couldn't change my mind at the last second. In 2004, while I was trying to get the paperwork served to him (he was in Pennsylvania and I was in Texas at the time)...well the paperwork started coming back RTS. I had no clue where he was. I found out from a mutual friend that he'd gotten thrown in prison...3 counts stalking and 5 counts harassment for a total of 7 months to 7 yrs behind bars. As of this morning, he's still there (I *just* checked the website). I suspect he'll be in prison until 2012. I fully suspect part of the reason he's still in is because of the 15 page statement I sent to the D.A. over his case detailling how the jerk was for the 10+ years I was with him. Well that and the fact he sent me a letter with the divorce papers that read as a barely veiled threat (to which I responded with a letter and copies of said letter and envelope to the D.A.). My complaint got bumped to the supervisor in the prison who formally warned him to never contact me again. My correspondence was then placed in his file and I suspect it's reviewed every time there is a parole hearing.

I’m not going to get into much more detail in here about it as it takes too damn long to get through the whole story and if I went into details, well I’d be writing for weeks (months, years). However, please feel free to go to the link I provided and read at your leisure. Yeah, I know, I haven’t finished the details but before I started with the details I typed my diary in there so you’ll have much of the backstory and a real good idea what it was like. A few that read in here can tell you, I’ve gotten far in healing, but still have a ways to go.

Today's entry brought to you by Karla

Ok. This one's going to be a quick one because I ~really~ must get to bed (I should have been there an hour or so ago as it's going to be a long day).

Karla said...

1) We know you are a gypsy at heart. Have you or would you ever consider joining a circus or fair to move around constantly to feed the gypsy side of you?


No I haven’t as of yet, the closest I came to feeding that gypsy nature of mine is that trip that I took in 2003...when I ran. The entire trip I only spent 1 week in a hotel. The rest of the time I was with friends and family.



I'm not certain I'd be fit for fair or circus work to be honest. Although part of me really loves the idea of being out on the road and would relish waking up in a new location every few days, there's this other part of me that realizes that it means alot of work packing my stuff up from week to week to get ready to go to a new location. I just couldn't imagine having to haul all the stuff around that I "couldn't possibly live without"
Not that I'm Princess Vespa and her matched luggage NOR do I insist on my industrial strength hair dryer (hair dryer? WTF is that?), but I DO bring alot of things with me to keep me occupied so I'm not bored out of my mind just sitting around. Then, of course, there's all the clothes I insist on bringing simply because I'm not sure how long we'll be gone OR what I'll want to wear OR "just in case we get stuck somewhere".


However, if I had a personal assistant that did all that for me and I could just concentrate on relaxing and doing what I want when I want...then hell yeah!



Oh....some of y'all have answers on the last entry... you may wanna pop back over and grab 'em.

Answers to the burning questions, pt1

Well! I don't need to wait until Friday do we? A majority have voted and the majority rules. With a whopping 7 votes (more votes than I actually expected...thanks!) for breaking it up into bite-sized segments and 3-4 not caring HOW I managed to write it, so long as I do....that leaves only about 6 more people to vote (hey wait! When'd I lose that other reader??? There were 17 when I originally wrote the entry!!! *sigh* am I really ~that~ boring??). Even if they were to all to come in before Friday and vote NO....I'd still have enough votes to break it down. So here's the first installment of my interview courtesy of ToriZ:

Tori_z said...
1. If you could be anyone - be they still alive or dead - for 24 hours, who would you be? And why?

This one took a bit of thought. I mean, who WOULD I want to be? Would I want to be someone famous? Or would I rather be someone rich? How about someone who made a huge difference in this world? There are so many possibilities. After much thought I narrowed it down to someone who did absolutely none of those. I take that back, I’m sure she managed to make a difference in the world around her (and I don’t mean just the family because we all know she did a lot for us), just not necessarily a HUGE difference. Just for one day, I'd love to be my gramma. I'm sure the loneliness and the missing of the family would get to be a bit much but since it would be just for one day, I think I could manage that little bit of that type of pain. She always seemed to have this strength and a certain joie de vivre no matter what was going down and I'd love to take that day to figure out how she managed it and try and tap into it so I could apply it to my own life.

2. If you were offered an all expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world, where would you go? And why that particular place?

There are so many places I'd like to go. I’m going to assume I’m not allowed to say that it would be a trip around the world and in that way I’d be able to hit everywhere. So, I’m going to say that I'd like to have that trip be a two week vacation to the Poconos. I'd like to have a suite in the Poconos Palace like I did last time (same suite would be even better), only this time I'd be with the RIGHT man. Yes, unfortunately a lovely place like that resort was tainted very badly in the past marriage. I'd need 2-3 full weeks there as I’m sure I'd be sick that first week with all the memories (like my trip to Pennsylvania was in 2004 or was it 2005?). Definitely need to do some memory killing there.

With the exception of WHOM I was with and the fact that once you were there a couple days, the glamour pretty much faded and you saw all the dings and scratches, it’s a really pretty place. There is a HUGE fountain (at least there was) out front in the circular drive….and the copper fireplace they were taking photos in front of while we were there was absolutely beautiful. The grounds were lovely with all these geese around and this beautiful pond with the paddle boats in it. There was an animal farm up nearby that I wouldn’t mind going to again. It was so cold and dreary when I went the first time. In fact, it was gloomy most of the week I was there. I was told that I should have come the week before when they had warm days with plenty of sun. Nah, ya think? That was the week I was touring the fkn Civil War Battlefields. Yeah, I had to tour the Battlefields on my HONEYMOON. It was one of the many compromises I had to make in order to spend a week somewhere romantic. Pfft.

some bad news and the creative moose wanders around unsupervised

I got a letter from mom and daddy this morning stating that their ability to do any travelling this year is more than likely going to be nixed. This really kind of sucks for them because they have gotten to where they go to Indiana once a year to visit with my brother, his wife and their kids. The reason why their plans are pretty much shot is because of this:

http://www.modbee.com/local/story/564758.html

Mom's been working for them for several years. Thankfully, there should be some semblance of a severance check...but we all know that the money doesnt last all that long and she aint exactly a spring chicken. Let me rephrase that, it's going to be a trifle more difficult for her to find a job as she'll be turning 59 in August and has no more than a high school diploma (she became a housewife right after graduation). She and I are alot alike, all we know is retail.

In answer to the Grand Pooba's question in the last entry, yes, that is where the new title came from. I'd been thinking for weeks that this blog needed a different title and had been looking for something that sounded just right. I pulled up lyrics to all my favortie songs, and scoured the motivational/ inspirational quote sites, finding nothing that captured my attention. Then, while my mind was on something else entirely (namely a quote that Chicago and I saw on a t-shirt last night that I thought would just work for what I wanted), the creative moose gnawed through her lead, kicked down the stall door and commensed to singing show tunes. She wasnt singing just any show tune either...oh no. She pulled up one from my choir and theater past....that particular song from Pippin. Mind you, I hadnt thought of that musical in years.... Anyhow, it seems to match my mood lately.

Now to come up for snappy titles for the other 5 blogs on this account.....

today's ride:
Calories burned: 373.3
trip miles: 10.66
ave mph: 21.32

in response to wifey's comment on the last entry

Qs woulda made it easy to stay within the 10...


Quartz...the rose color is nice...

Quiet. No matter how much I fuss about how I miss hubby all day and the fact I have to have something making noise (tv or music), there are times I really like the quiet alot.

Queen! I LOVE Freddy Mercury and Brian Mays' voices!! Some of their less popular songs are their best.

Quadrupeds. Particularly my kitty. Im just an animal lover so almost anything crawling around on 4 legs I love.

Quarter Horses. I love horses in general and this ~could~ have been put in that last one but of all animals, the horse is my fav.

Quilts. A nice warm quilt fresh from the dryer on a cold day is wonderful.

Quarts of Baskin Robbins!! My favorite brand. I wish it wasnt so expensive.

Quantities (large) of chocolate in almost any forms. Some is liked better than others.

Quirks. They're what make us individuals.





More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com


Quizzes. Great time killers. :)



On the other hand, if you'd pulled the X (or possibly even the Z), I think I may have had heart failure.